Returning to school often brings a return to schedules.  Parents work hard to juggle kids' classes, team sports, time with friends - and family - so they stay safe, strong and growing.   Teamwork, discipline, the arts and social skills are all critical components of growing up, for sure.  Fall is also be a good time to attend to another important character development opportunity - learning to give back through good works and community service.  Before schedules get too frantic, think about having charitable efforts become a routine part of your children's lives.

There are many ways helping others can become a core element in children's character development.

• Encourage them to donate something they no longer use - clothing, toys, etc.  This can be an easy first step since it requires no real sacrifice.  Conversation ideas:  Can you put yourself in the shoes of kids who don't have things like this?  How would you feel?  What would be different for you?
• Raise money for a cause - When kids explore and decide among potential charities - and then work over a period of time to raise money for that cause - they are beginning to exercise their personal values - their own internal compass.  Their personal values get exercised.  Conversation ideas: Let's spend the next few weeks looking for charities that are meaningful to you.  (When they decide) Tell me about why you chose this charity. ... Can you think of ways you and your friends could make a difference for this cause?  We'd love to support what you do in our own way too.
• Volunteering /Community Service - Keeping the park clean, serving in soup kitchens, supporting local animal shelters are but a few of the ways children can develop a habit of giving.  They come face to face with the actual needs and immediately witness the difference they can make. Conversation ideas: Being able to learn about and make a difference in our community is as important to growing up as school or sports.  Let's spend a couple weeks looking for activities that can make a difference in our community - activities you can participate in on a routine basis.  You might want to ask a friend to do it with you. Another critical conversation point will be about commitment.  Discuss - up front - what they think would be acceptable reasons for not meeting their commitments. 
• Spontaneous personal acts of kindness and courage - Reaching out to schoolmates who could use a hand; noticing who may be ostracized for being different, standing up for someone being bullied.  This type of generosity requires self-awareness and social skills. ("what's the deal?' provides a fun and engaging way to learn these skills)  Conversation ideas:  As your child retells a story about some inequity or meanness, ask, "Why do you think that might be happening?  Can you think of anything you could do to help if you see that happen again?  Would you like to invite (ostracized student) to join us when we go to the (game, movies, etc.)?"  "I noticed that you (stayed to help, stood up for, etc.).  That was great.  Can you tell me about why you did that?"

There is enormous pressure on our children today.  They face an ongoing assault from peers and media to be cooler, prettier, tougher, smarter and more grown up.  Everywhere they turn the messages appeal to them as consumers.  It would be wonderful to find ways to appeal to their innate sense of generosity and gratitude.  Consider making a "giving plan" an integral part of their routine.

Here are a few sites to visit for more ideas.

• The Volunteer Family
• Easy Volunteer Ieas for Kids
• Presidential Service Award